


A SBURBan All-Purpose Guide

by MC7Hamster7Ball



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Replay Value AU, SBURB FAQ, The Games Will Never Stop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MC7Hamster7Ball/pseuds/MC7Hamster7Ball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey, this is just a Guide to lots of random bits and bobs of SBURB. If you can't find a good guide for something, check here! You just might find it.</p>
<p>(By MC, Native Ward of Might.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Midwife of the Awakening Orbit

 

[[[Midwife of the Awakening Orbit]]]

All right guys, here it is, Midwife of the Awakening Orbit. The problem that has been plaguing the minds of Replayers since its discovery in Timestamp -30;97645780614089318,  seven Timestamps ago. It appears to be all about new beginnings, along with learning that not even your best friends are perfect. In other words, more bullshit lessons done through weird methods. Oh well!  
  


[[[The Land Moon]]]

[QUESTION]Wait, I thought that the game was over after the Underworld?  
  
Well, that’s what everyone else thought too. But the Expansion theory is actually probably true, because of all of these antics.  
  
[QUESTION]Alright, how does all of this start?  
  
Well, once you’ve destroyed the Land’s Heart, there’ll be a weird circular light that you can see whenever the Land is in Night Phase. As always, you have to talk to the Secret Consort. He’ll go on and on and on about things. Quick Summary for you kids: When you destroyed the Land’s Heart, the Heart left a remnant orbiting around the Land. The Heart Fraction began forming a Land, but it’s still in progress. However, exaggerated versions of your coplayers called Saboteurs are trying to ruin the Land Moon’s Awakening by destroying the Alarm Cords. You need to save the Alarm Cords and allow the Land Moon to properly awaken. So basically, more weird plot shit.  
  
[QUESTION]How do you get to the Land Moon?  
  
You have to head back to the Earthsea Borealis, and you’ll find a Gate sitting in the center. This thing has been dubbed “The Eighth Gate”. You have to go through it, and you’ll wind up on the Land Moon.  
  
*Note: For Time Players, the Eighth Gate will be in the middle of The Beat Mesa, and has the exact same purpose and function.  
  
[QUESTION]]OK, I’m on the Land Moon, and it looks like my Land, but with stronger monsters and really high-requirement Dungeons and some really big  cables sticking out of the ground. What do?  
  
You have to do sidequests for Consorts, complete Dungeons, and protect the Alarm Cords. The last part can only be done at completely random intervals, when you’re walking past an Alarm Cord, and you see a Saboteur destroying it. There is literally no way to know when it’ll happen, it is completely random.  
  
[QUESTION]How do you even fight a Saboteur?  
  
Oh, that’s easy. You fight it like you would a normal enemy. It’s just that it has some of the abilities of the Coplayer who it’s a mockery of, and it stupidly strong.  
  
[QUESTION]I beat the Saboteur, but it ran away before I could kill it! Huh???  
  
Every Saboteur reappears 1-3 times. Each time, it’s even stronger. Also, you only re-fight a Saboteur after you’ve fought all of the other Saboteurs an equal number of times.  
  
[QUESTION]The Saboteur is gone, but the Alarm Cord is wasting away!!! What do I do!?!??!?!?  
  
Simple. You heal it. You throw every single healing ability, Player Command, and item at it, until it’s better than new. Then it won’t be able to be destroyed again.  
  
[QUESTION]Can’t I just heal it before the Saboteur tries to destroy it?  
  
Nope. The Alarm Cable is immune to all healing until it is damaged, and before you ask, the Saboteur is the only one that can damage it.  
  
[QUESTION]What are these weird rings of Dungeons with tiny Consort villages in the middle?  
  
Those are called Quest Hubs. They are very special things that only appear on the Land Moon. In the center is a Consort Outpost, and around the perimeter are Dungeons with all of the same WHEN and WHO requirements, except for a WHEN requirement that says that you have to be on a certain Quest.  
  
One Consort in the Outpost will have a Quest for you at the start, and that Quest is to go into a certain Dungeon and complete it, but also do a certain something while there. Once you’ve done that, talk to them again, and you’ll get a similar quest, but with a different Dungeon and a different action. Keep doing that until you’ve done so for each Dungeon, then talk to the Consort again. Xe’ll direct you to the next Consort.  
  
One thing about Quest Hub Dungeons is that the WHEN requirement for the quest changes once you’ve completed the quest. This also resets the inside of the Dungeon. Anyways, when you talk to the next Consort, you’ll have to go back into a dungeon, complete it again, and do a different action. However, the Dungeon will be completely different.  
  
[QUESTION]I found a Tower Dungeon in a Quest Hub! Is that supposed to happen?  
  
Completely normal. The only difference is that each Consort will send you to the Tower Dungeon twice, once when it’s raised, and once when it’s sunken.


	2. Specialized [Reverberata] Freestyled Abilities (#01)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little guide on the topic of Reverberata-thing-specific abilities that I've seen freestyled. I've seen quite a few Misters, so this is basically just the beginning.

Alright, so 'cause my Native session had a Mist Player in it who I was very close to, and I've seen and/or heard about lots of other Misters, I figured I'd write a quick chapter about the Post-Entry abilities I've seen freestyled. More specifically, the abilities structured around Reverberata-types. So, I guess I'll start this off with the first such abilities that I ever saw used by my Native Ecto-Sis TrudillCapote.

  


**[[The Beginning of Something Dangerously Moustacheful]]**

-[Staches to Staches, Dust to Dust] is an ability that makes your Moustache-Reverberata seek out other moustaches and rip them off of people's faces and into the cloud. However, they stay moustaches when you turn back to your normal state, so my Native Ecto-Dad (BornWithoutSin) had to teach her how to shave them off. Oh man, that was a fun day.

-[Moustache Munchkin] is an ability where you turn part of your body (Typically your hand and forearm) into Reverberata, which clumps together and turns into a 1.5-foot tall Moustache Golem, with the ability to use basic Reverberata stuff. She was only able to freestyle this so early on in the game because it took her down by  _half of a frickin'_ _arm_!

-[Moustache Twirl] makes your Reverberata into a wheel that rolls around, wreaking havoc.

  


In my third Session, I met a Mister on his eighth Session (GermsLiveOn_EvenAfterCleaning) whose Reverberata was dish sponges. It was his third time playing Mist, so he had a good feel for it. Pretty early on, he busted out some ridiculously awesome moves, some of which I'll catalogue here.

**[[Cleaning the Starting Line]]**

-[Spongesticker] makes dish sponges merge with your Reverberata in a different way than [Staches to Staches, Dust to Dust]. Rather thany drawing them into the storm, it merges the sponges with individual sponges  _in_ the storm. This leads to random body parts being misshapenly larger. Thankfully, there's...

-...[Spongesplitter], which cuts off excess bits of sponge from Reverberata. Thankfully, it only cuts off bits added on by [Spongesticker], so you don't have to worry. It also has the function of launching the sponge bits at high speed for MEDIOCRE DAMAGE!

-[Cleanse Them With Their Blood] makes the sponges furiously scrape off the flesh of foes, then beat the same foes with in. It is terrifying, although kinda cool.


	3. Continental Beatfest (Part 1/?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another bullcrap Land Plot Arc, discovered pretty damn recently.

Well guys, here we are again. Another bullcrap Land Plot Arc, this one featuring another nonsensical World Map Reset. I present... The Continental Beatfest

 

[QUESTION] How do we start this whole rigamarole? 

You head to the Underworld and climb back up to where the Heart was. There should be a Gate there. Hop through, and you'll be in the [ **Obliservation Deck]** , which is a glass box on top of the Denizen's Palace. Play the song of your Land and the Wolrd Map will reset again. Break out of the Deck and head back through your Land till you find the Secret Consort. He'll be in the third Consort Settlement that you come to. No matter the order, it'll always be the third one. Somehow.

[QUESTION] There are tons of weird stadium things on my Land! What gives??? 

Those are the **[Continental Arenas]**. They're damn near everywhere, because the game defines "Continent" as "Some sort of general area with varying size" or something like that. There are even some that are underground or underwater or floating or other crap like that.

[QUESTION] What does the Secret Consort have to say? 

I'll sum it up for ya. The Denizen was not alone in xir crusade, and a being known as the  **[Progeny]**  has brought an  **[Announcative Council]**  to avenge the Denizen. This Council has set up the Arenas, each led by a different  **[Announcer]**. Your goal is to head to each Arena, fight all of the procedurally-generated monsters, explore the various parts of the Arena, solve puzzles, make your way to the Announcer, and beat the snot outta him.

[QUESTION] Wait, "Progeny"? THE DENIZEN HAD A KID?!? 

A-yup. Doesn't get much more slashfic than that, yo.

[QUESTION] So I just have to fight a bunch of monsters, explore, and solve some puzzles? That's it? 

It's not that simple. Every monster is unique, with a unique strategy that frequently requires you to use the arena, seemingly inapplicable abilitites, and old items that you didn't have a use for to your advantage. The explorey bits of the arena don't follow a logical geometry, with fractals and recursion and other nonsense. The puzzles all require you to do sidequests/seek out secret areas/engage in **[Wacky Antics]** with NPCs that normally can't do that/go to other Arenas (All of which are all over the Medium) to find the pieces needed to complete the task.


	4. A Quick Metamatrical Explanation of "Ink"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, this is gonna be fun.

Alright, so i figured I'd write a chapter on the Aspect that I encountered for the first time three sessions ago, and have since encountered thrice more (one of those times being from personal experience). The Aspect? Frickin' **[Ink]** , yo!

But, thing is? Ink is in a weird category of Aspects that I keep encountering, which, I shit you not, are getting less glitchy. I thought it wasn't possible, but [Merged Aspects] appear to be STRAIGHTENING THEMSELVES OUT.

Y'see, bro, get this, a Merged Aspect is the unholy fusion of two Aspects, merging their meanings in ridiculous ways. Ink, for instance, is the devil babby of  **[Blood]** and  **[Heart]**.

So, what exactly are the features of Ink? Well be patient, dammit, I'm getting there. Here's my _SUPER FANCY AND ALSO OFFICIAL DIAGRAM (TM)_ :

 

Descriptive: --- Writing

Connotative: --- Conceptualized Bonds

Emblematic: --- Fabricated Souls

Figurative: --- "Essentia"

Substrative: --- "Incarnum"

 

Man that is FANCY, dawg. OK so here's the rundown: Writing is basically making words on things without needing writing utensils. Hell, you can even write on air at higher levels! (Thank [Words of the Wind] for that one!) Conceptualized Bonds is basically what some people have dubbed "shipping", which is dumb because Shipping is an unfinished game mechanic, but hey, SBURB reuses terminology all the time, so I probably can't complain. Basically it's when you take two people and use Aspect Bullcrap to make them have feels for each other.>[? 

Fabricated Souls is pretty much what it sounds like: Making new Shinies. AKA the most goddamn terrifying thing I have ever had to do in SBURB. You're literally CREATING A SOUL from a [Template], adding in a bunch of personality traits and interests, and SWAPPING IT FOR SOMEONE'S PRE-EXISTING SHINY. augh i feel nauseous just thinking about it...

Augh, anyays, the last two are named as they are because, yo dude! 'Case ya haven't noticed, I'm a frickin' huge nerd! So, I basically stole that nonsense from Dungeons and Dragons. So to sum up these last two, Essentia is the energy of souls. All souls. Ever. You pick it up and draw it in from goddamn _everyone_ you encounter. When you're Ink, you can then release it. Pretty sweet, huh? Incarnum is sweeter. You take Essentia and shape it into frickin' awesome gear with ridiculous bonuses and give it to people and just? Frick yeah. That's baaaaaaaaasically it.


	5. Bestiary (Various Underlings, Underling Ranks, Underling Classes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, let's get to goddamn work.

Alright, so one thing that I've noticed is that there are lots of Underlings that people are baffled by, simply by never having heard of them. There are also weird things that get added onto Underlings that still confuse some SBAWSses, and given that I aim to educate every SBURB player that I can reach, this chapter'll be for explaining some of the more rare Underlings, along with Ranks and Classes.

 

[Terrantula]

Okay, I shit you not, these things are what caused me to [Prose] my arachnophobia away. I was getting a lot better with dealing with it, but these guys. These assholes. These... **FUCKERS**. Twenty-foot long, 8-foot tall, 13.5-foot wide tarantulas, with frickin' EARTHQUAKE ATTACKS. I literally cried in a Magicant for three hours until my Native Ectofamily Psybuffed me to the extreme. Thankfully, I was able to roll Rage in my third session, so I got rid of that fear the instant I got access to [Prose].

And the thing is? That ain't the least of it. There's this incredibly glitchy ridiculous spawning "feature" that makes what's called a [Terrantula Jockey]. In other words, an Ogre riding one of these shitfaces. And the game  _cheats_ (as if that was new), giving the Ogre a 96.4% chance of spawning with a ranged weapon with UNLIMITED AMMO. 1.2% of the time, it'll have a superpowerful melee weapon, and the rest of the time? That's when the Ogre has magic. High-level magic. Fuck everything about these guys.

Relative Power Rating: Same as Basilisk

 

[Draugr]

These idiots are actually really frickin' easy. Well, stage 1, at least. They cast weak Might-Aspected evocation abilites, shooting water everywhere like idiots. When you kill them, they give a shitton of Grist, along with a whole bunch of [Scarnacles]. Scarnacles are little tentacles that stick in the ground and use ridiculous melee grappling techniques, which all do DoT. Use long range when dealing with them, and as many AoEs as you can manage. They all give Grist as well, and every Grist Classification of Draugr has over a hundred different Grist classificatons of Scarnacle, most of which can't be found anywhere else, so you kind of HAVE to stay and beat up the bullcrap bleedy tentacle asshats.

Relative Power rating: Between Ogre and Basilisk.

 

[Gambado]

This thing is  **terrifying** , just by its appearance alone. It's taller than a Giclops, most of its body is its torso, its "legs" are creepy tentacl/plant root... THINGS, and it's head is a creepy dinosaur skull with tons of spikes and it just looks dumb - yet FREAKY AS  **SHIT**. What's more, they spawn just below the surface of the Land, and jump out of frickin' NOWHERE , biting and clawing and headbutting and grabbing and EUGH.

Relative Power Rating: Between Lich and Giclops.

 

 

[Underling Ranks]

Surprisingly enough, Underlings actually have a heirarchy! Simply put, there are [Peasants], [Workers], and [Nobles]. Peasants are really weak, but gain bonuses when in groups with other Peasants. Unfortnately, they always spawn in huge mobs. Always. Workers are typical Underlings, the descriptor isn't actually shown, and its only known from code-diving. Nobles are the minibosses, higher stats across the board, AND they can summon quite a few Workers of the same Class as them, and TONS of Peasants of that Class.

 

 

[Underling Classes]

Underlings also have stat-adjusting [Classes], which have so much variety that it's actually pretty cool! When they're not trying to kill you, that is. (i.e. never) Anyways, all Worker Ogres, for example, no matter the Class, are always the same level of power, they just have different specialties. Some examples:

  * [Berserker]: x2 Attack, x1/2 Defense.
  * [Summoner]: x1/2 everything, can summon any classless underlings that are at a lower power rating than them.
  * [Monk]: x2 Speed, x2 Agility, x1.5 Attack when unarmed, x1/4 Defense, x1/2 Casting.




	6. Class Info: the Visionary

Well then, this probably seems like a long while after that last chapter, and lemme tell ya, it's been a long time for me too. I've been through three full sessions, and I visited two others by way of ridiculous temporospatial bullcrap. Thankfully, I was only in each of the visited sessions for a couple of weeks. (I gotta see some old sessionmates too, and met some online replying friends in person for the first time, as well!)

Anyways, point is, I still have tons of crap to talk about. And, seeing as almost every chapter has been about something completely different, I'm continuing that trend! This chapter is about a certain Class that I've always thought was interesting, and of which I've played the Active and Passive instances several times. The class? The  **[Visionary]**. Active is the Mag, Passive is the Lens.

**Mag:**

The Mag is all about seeing what's there, but to which everyone is blind. A Mag of Light sees the flow of luck and knowledge throughout reality, a Mag of Flow can see the acceleration of various things, along with everything that'll accelerate next, and has accelerated in the past.

**Lens:**

The Lens sees things as their Whisperings see them. A Lens of Law sees things as strict rules, forcing things to act as they are, while a Lens of Rhyme sees things in slow motion, which has its benefits and its penalties.

 

Basically, the Visionary is all about how your Aspect can be seen, along with how your Aspect can see things.

Sorry for the short chapter, there's a SBOOB that's legitimately 11 Earth-years old, and he forgets how to do Alchemy. I swear, the reason for him being slapped with Mind is no mystery to ANYONE. *Sigh*


End file.
